Do You Choose Love?

By: Elaine Ybarra, Co-Director,  Marriage and Family Life, Diocese of Lubbock

Love is a choice.
If you choose it, then you must work at it. You must move from “me” to “we”. How you and your spouse spend time together deter­mines how strong your marriage will be.
The more time you spend to­gether, the more you will feel con­nected. Enjoy recreational activi­ties together. Become each other’s best friend.
If you do your own thing too often, you may sleep in the same bed, but your relation­ship will be worlds apart. Love re­quires spend­ing time to­gether and being involved in each oth­er’s lives.
A young couple asked their priest how they might discern if they were called to marriage to­gether.
He said, “You have to know how to pray, and what to ask when you pray.”
The priest went on to explain that marriage is always described as a gift, that individuals give them­selves to each on the altar.
“But really,” he clarified, “you are not giving yourself. You are receiv­ing the other person. Look at the vows, you say “I take you,” not “I give myself.”
The priest suggested that in their prayer they ask God if this is the person he wants them to receive.
If you are already married, the question is, “How are you taking care of your spouse?” “Do you do activities together on a weekly ba­sis?” “Do you have fun together?” “Do you laugh to­gether?” “Do you talk together?” Do you pray together?” All of these sugges­tions are important.
Keeping God in your marital relation­ship is the key to devel­oping a lifelong commitment. God’s bless­ings help you through the tough times. God then helps you to enjoy the good times.
The sacrament of marriage de­velops an understanding of service to one another. You are to think of the other’s happiness before your own.
Our job is to get each other to heaven.
These are some ways we have learned how to grow together. We attend Mass together, join adult bible study classes together, attend marriage retreats at least every five years, enjoy the same ministries, go out to dinner, go to a romantic movie, make dates to long talks on a regular basis, etc.
Put an effort into your marriage and enjoy each other. Make plans to attend the Worldwide Marriage Encounter at the Mercy Center on September 19-21, 2014. This will be the only English WWME our diocese will have this year. Don’t miss out!